Dixie, Breathe… You’re ok, and you’re going to be ok no matter what! Remember that!!!!!
Ok, so let’s walk through this. Why do you feel hopeless again? What specifically are you looking at that is leading you to the conclusion that this is hopeless?
He went from the one armed hug thing to a kiss. Call it a peck or whatever, but it was a kiss, nonetheless. He looks like crap. He seems to be sleeping a lot. This isn’t the first time that he’s overslept or complained about being sick or whatever… He’s admitting responsibility for treating you like crap. Last time you saw him he was bolting for the door, this time he was hanging around until the R talk. Gotta stop that, but you already know. He commented on your rings??? I mean completely committed to the door would not mention it. All these things are hopeful. All is not well in his world (as FOBD continues to point out to me).
Maybe you do need to expect that this is over for a little while because you need to detach a bit more before you get into these interactions with him. There is not a single thing wrong with you. What you are feeling, we have all felt. What you did, we have all done. It is normal. So please don’t beat yourself up anymore, ok? Learn your lesson, set your goals, make a plan. Can you also get a dog?? This dog seems to bring you so much peace and you hate being in that house alone. I understand completely because I have my kittens who bring me the same joy and peace. Is it possible for you to go get a dog??
We are all here for you and on YOUR side. This isn’t over until you say it’s over. Please hang in there. Keep talking! And did I mention, consider a dog?? I pray for your peace and reconciliation.
