Need advice please!!! Not sure on next move?

[dixiegal]

UPDATE:

Well yall it didnt go as I planned. I'm conflicted so, Ill let yall give me the feedback...

H was suppose to be at the house at Noon to pick up Dog. So, I went home for a late lunch at 2pm. Thinking he had already been there and gone w/Dog. So, when I got home the Dog was still there! (So, I was thinking that he was gonna leave the dog again) Anyways, I open the Garage and was walking out w/the Dog to take her potty. When BOOM! There is H! He had pulled up and I didnt hear him.. (threw me of my game!)

So, I said w/ a smile Hi! The dog was real excited to see him. He leaned down hugged the dog. I then took her to potty. He walked with us for a bit.

He said, did you just get here? I said, yes I thought you had already come by. He said, I over slept I was exhausted.

(He did look rough to me..hair/clothes)

So, we walked back in the house. I said, here are all of the Dog's things, meds and etc. He said, thanks. Then, he said Hi and gave me a one arm hug thing. I responded, hugged back.

He asked if, I had anything for dry skin as his hands looked really bad. He showed me. I went in bathroom came out and gave it to him.

I said, well I better go I still have some appts. He said, you going back to work? I said, yes later.

I walked out in the Garage he followed as he was putting things in his truck (going back and forth) I was about to get in the truck.

I said, things going good with work? (small talk) He then, leaned up on my suv and just started talking about issues at work and his side business venture. He went on for sometime...he looked down at my hands for a second. Then he said, I see your wearing your wedding rings? I just replied, yes.

Then we just stood there looking at each other real oddly. Then I made the R MISTAKE!!! I said," I don't know where your at right now. But, we probally need to talk about taxes and etc and what to do next?" He said, "We'll I'm real exhausted right now and we are standing in the Garage. Maybe we can go to Dinner or something in the future and discuss what we are going to do?"

I said, sure.

Then I said, Ive been attending MC and found a wonderful C. They say that they would like to speak to both of us in whatever we decide. He just looked me in the eye but, didnt say anything. I then said, I know I apologized via phone a month ago. But, I wanted to tell you in person that I am very sorry for how I hurt you that day. I realize that I made you feel that I had no respect for you by what I said. That is not the true either.

He shook his head yes and looked me straight in the eye. He said, I forgave you for that already.

I said, Thanks

He said, I did some crappy things to you too.

I said, well I better go. (Cause, I caught myself!!!)

He said, Me too I have to get to the other side of town. (??)

He then hugged me and kissed me on the cheek! I said, becareful on the road. He said, I will half hugged me again and gave me a peck kiss.

I got in my truck and left..He then a few seconds later.

So, that's it ya'll.....

I then went back to work. I left from work straight to meet my girlfriend for dinner till 10p. Then I came home cried a bit and passed out!

UGH!!!! I'm so mad at myself...I had it all planned out and then boom! So, clearly he has all the control again.....I beat myself up all night over it....But, I had a C session that morning and he said he agreed w/DB ing but, I if possible I needed to attempt/let him know that I was still working on the M.

So, at that moment I was thinking maybe I should.....WRONG!!! I feel he just said the dinner thing cause he didnt want to talk about any R stuff at all and etc.....I dont believe for a second that that will happen.

Yes, he hugged me and stuff...but, when he did it wasnt the same...I could feel the disconnect. Plus, I could feel the detachment from his side big time! He seemed like he had moved on...I feel HOPELESS again...

Maybe, I should just except that this is done....