Drive The Bus, Or Be The Passenger?

[Kemper]

One of the concerns I had about marriage boot camp is exactly what you pointed out. My W had fears about going to Retro because she thought we would have to air our dirty laundry out in front of strangers. Once I explained to her that we didn't she felt more at ease and agreed to attend.

I find that I have been cycling in my mind today. Most of my thoughts revolve around my W and OM.

Some keys dates have passed and some are approaching. My W and OM first had sex the week before Christmas in 2010. After her trip and rendezvous she spent Christmas day with the boys and I. Obviously, this key date has passed but the one approaching is right before Valentine's Day. My W flew OM down to our home city and spent three nights with him right before V day. Hopefully with time these thoughts and cycles will be further and further between and frustrate me less than they do now.

I am also cycling because I have seen how my W interacted with OM through email. She was very affectionate in little ways that she isn’t with me. I sometimes wonder how she would be if we hadn’t been married and this was a “new” relationship. Would she be giving more? Both my W and I need to do work to improve our R, just wonder sometimes how committed she is to doing that work.

Less than a month until Retro. Not looking at the weekend as a cure all but am optimistic that we come away from that weekend with a renewed focus on our R and openness with each other that currently isn’t there.