Well here is an indicator as to where we stand:

I asked her tonight for her W2, and asked her how she wanted to deal with the refund. Here is the exact conversation:

Her: I'm dling my w2 now

Me: How would you like to deal with the refund.
Me: You got screwed last year, and I feel a lot of pain from what I did.

Her: yeah, I really don't care.

Me: frown

Her: well you do whatever you want anyway

Me: Not anymore.
Me: That's why I'm asking you.

Her: I just sent them
Her: well I really don't care - just take it
Her: do w/e with it

Me: I got them. Thank you. There is so much else that I want to say, but I won't. Goodnight.

So from that exchange, I'd say we are not well.
What do I do? How can I show her that I'm different and she matters?