thanks denver and you are right, he is just helping to take care of us. nothing more it's hard not to read into things when he calls so much tho' he is staying with us tonight and came into my room to talk i backslid and talked about the relationship and any fantasy i had about him having a change of heart was quickly quelled he told me he loves me but the feelings that he needs to sustain a marriage are gone and that he has no faith they could be rekindled i kept my cool and told him i understood and that i'm sure with time i would get to the same place he gave me a big hug and went to sleep in the other room to answer your question, we are both in our early forties (i, of course, look 15 years younger - ok at leat 10) he leaves tomorrow for a bunch of shows and that will make things a bit easier on some level for me ahhhhh suddenly i don't feel as cool as i did 5 minutes ago i feel like crying again oh well life goes on, doesn't it?
