Read right through the Why the run thread tonight and found it interesting. A bit more history here, we had an in house separation from June to December of 2009; however from September to December, we went through a really good period, the one I spoke of where he was opening up and we were communicating better than we ever had. Sometime in October, he stayed up all night one night and wrote up all his sexual fantasies. When I woke up in the morning, he shared with me what he had written. There were some surprises there but I really didn't think much of it at the time. He also shared with me that he visited online porn sites often after I went to bed and always turned it up really loud hoping to get caught.
Fast forward to March when we were in the thick of separation negotiations and I was trying to wrap my head around everything that was going on. I hadn't yet read DR and of course was doing a lot of the wrong things. I starting snooping and discovered that he had set up all kinds of online dating profiles on porn sites, dating back to 2007. In some, he had indicated that he was bi-curious. I started grilling him on some of these things and his response to me was that he didn't even know who he was anymore. He also said he didn't expect me to understand but he just couldn't handle this (as in the separation) getting any harder. I wondered if he maybe had some kind of escalating sexual addiction as I looked back over the years and discovered his sexual demands had progressed over the years. Not really sure if this ties into MLC or not but certainly, his admission that he didn't even know who he was anymore shows the confusion and likely shame that he had been feeling.
Just journalling I guess and wondering if anyone else experienced anything like this.
Me: 41 STBXH: 36 D: 11 S: 9 BOMB 12/2009 SEPARATED 5/2010 D SERVED BY ME 9/2010 FINAL D When I'm ready
