Now to your other comment... What did you feel deep down when you were getting married??? Did you think that this was going to last forever? Probably. Listen, our deep down feelings are just plain screwed up sometimes. Sometimes our instincts are right, but sometimes they are wrong. And often, they are dictated by the circumstances going on right now.
A month ago, "deep down" I thought my marriage was completely over too. Right now, "deep down" I don't think my marriage is over. A month ago, my H was acting like a first class jerk. Today, he's still a first class jerk, but he's a first class jerk who's pursuing me.
The point is these feelings are fleeting. I am not asking you, though, to shake those feelings. I am asking you to get yourself in the best position for the fight.
I am so proud of you and I hope that you do well with this interview today!!!!
Well, my interview never happened. We were scheduled to meet at Starbucks because he was in the field today and tried calling him when he was late. After walking back and forth between 2 Starbucks thinking I gott my signals crossed and calling him 3x, 45 minutes later, I had to leave to go to see my Dr. about med management. I finally get an email 1 1/2 hrs after the scheduled appt time from the main person I have been interviewing with an apology saying that the other guy got tied up on a customer site for an install that took 2x longer than expected. I finally get a call over 2 hrs after the interview time to reschedule. So I rescheduled for tomorrow morning. There is still 1 more step. UGH! I was originally told the process would be wrapped up by the end of last week when I had the original interview just after New Years. The thing is, they think I am still working at my old company since I initially spoke with them before I got fired.
Well, my Dr thinks that I am obessing to much on this sight and thinks that I need to spend less time here. She thinks it keeps me ruminating on my W and my sitch. not sure I don't disagree.
While I am happier than a pig in sh!t for all my B.I.T.S. that seem to be progressing in their DB efforts, I can't help but feel depressed that my sitch is so hopeless. At least someone is having success.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
Two weeks ago I had completely given up hope. Today my battery is energized. Only you can determine when it is time to hang it up.
When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. This is determination!
Two weeks ago I had completely given up hope. Today my battery is energized. Only you can determine when it is time to hang it up.
When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. This is determination!
I agree MJ. I have been down and out, but I've been beginning to have a few ups too. Hang tight and be patient.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Trying to hold on. Nothing seems to be going right. My GAL right now is me spending my evenings away from my family in a townhouse where I am renting a room, by myself on this forum. I don't feel like reaching out to my friends because I don't want to talk about my sitch. They don't understand. I am trying to get back into my P90X routine. Tonight will be the 3rd night in a row for me. I had gone 7 weeks into the program and then the holidays and my sitch started going south, so I stopped.
This weekend is my weekend away from my kids, so that certainly isn't helping. I may try and drag myself up skiing on Sunday, but that will also be by myself. I sure seem to have done a pretty good job of isolating myself. I think maybe right now, I'm going through a stage where I want to be miserable for some reason.
This whole job sitch is wearing me out. What I initially thought was going to be done last week is now going to drag into next week. I have been able to keep this one company which offered me a job last week on hold, but I don't know how I can any longer. I don't know what to do. If I accept the position, the money isn't right, but if I wait for this other position and it doesn't work out, I could be right back to square one...UGH!!!!
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
MJ, Just keep in mind that you are going to go through these stages and it is OK. In the beginning, I would get mad when I would regress. Now, I just try to tell myself that it is OK. I am not having a good day today. Details will be in my post later tonight. But, I am still doing my best to cope. Try to spend more time with friends. Look, I am 39 and all my friends are married with kids. I kept waiting until Friday when the loneliness would kick to call them and try to put something together. Bad move. People with kids can't move at the drop of a hat. Now, I pick a friend and call him on Wednesday night. I ask then if we could do something as friends over the weekend. They then have time to get a "yard pass" and this fills my weekends with things to do and people to do these things with. Try it. Start planning your weekends on Wednesday. Your plans are more likely to happen if you start early and it will give you something to look forward to instead of dreading the lonely weekends. Just a bit of advice from another struggling LBS...
Hey, if you feel you are spending too much time here, take a break. Do what is best for you. Hell, my W told me tonight she just bought some new stuff for her place, so I am not going anywhere anytime soon. For all I know, I will probably be the last one of us still here. Come back when you are ready. There will be no hard feelings and we will be here with open ears, my man!
Good luck on that interview. I know you are going to nail it and take your first step to your new life!
BITS never walk alone!
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
"So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, Blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field From a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?
Did they get you to trade Your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? And cold comfort for change? Did you exchange A walk on part in the war, For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl, Year after year, Running over the same old ground. What have we found The same old fears. Wish you were here."
I sure can say that I am one lost soul.
B.I.T.S.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
Like sh!t. Thanks for asking. Oh, I can do songs. Here is one for you:
"Not talkin' 'bout a year No not three or four I don't want that kind of forever In my life anymore Forever always seems to be around when it begins but forever never seems to be around when it ends So give me your forever Please your forever Not a day less will do From you
People spend so much time Every single day Runnin' 'round all over town Givin' their forever away But no not me I won't let my forever roam and now I hope I can find my forever a home So give me your forever Please your forever Not a day less will do From you
Like a handless clock with numbers An infinite of time No not the forever found Only in the mind Forever always seems to be around when things begin but forever never seems to be around when things end So give me your forever Please your forever Not a day less will do From you" - Ben Harper
Our 'unofficial' song. I have "Forever" and our wedding date as part of a tatoo I designed on my chest.
B.I.T.S.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
Oh, I can do songs. Here is one for you: