I WILL Attain my Goals - Personal and M

[Denver_2010]

still reposting...

Further update for 1/26/11

I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop typing my journal updates that I just posted here at 8:30 p.m. or so tonight. While I was typing away, deep in thought, my SS comes up behind me and shakes me... he tried to scare me. Pretty funny. But it was a surprise bc he and W had seen me sitting in the coffee shop while getting some dinner across the street. SS asked W if they could stop in and see me... she said yes!!

My W pretended that she needed to buy some coffee and that is why she came in, but I'm now convinced that she is beginning to miss me.

She and I talked for about 1/2 hour about a bunch of different stuff. She still had some trouble making eye contact, but this contact seemed much more comfortable than what we had this past weekend.

At one point, SS told me to walk a few feet away from W so he could whisper something to me. I did and SS whispered to me to ask W if she would go to church with me on Sunday... so cute! I told him that I wasn't going to do that. So we walk back to W and W asks SS "are you trying to scam Denver"... SS says 'no, I told him to ask you to go to church with him, but he won't, so I'll do it for him... will you go to church with him on Sunday." W declined, but she was smiling.

W has the same car as me and mentioned some light that was going on and some problem with her power outlet that she uses for MP3 player. I offered to go out to her car and look at it to see if the light was something out of the ordinary and to see if I could fix the power outlet. We all walked out and got into her car. Me in the driver seat, W in the back seat behind me. I figured the stuff out and then got out. W's child lock was on so she couldn't open the back door to get out... I joked "Now I have you right where I want you"... she laughed.

We said our goodbyes and again, we each said 'I'll talk to you later'.

I have to admit that during much of our conversation my head was swirling. I was very unprepared to DB during this bc I was surprised. I think I did a good job though. I acted as if I was in a great mood, which actually I was bc it was going so well.

I didn't say anything stupid. But at one point, I wanted so badly to tell her how much I miss her and how much I love her. There was a second when I thought "end this WAW stuff now... reach out to her... hug her... tell her how you feel." I held back though.

Obviously, my hope are very high right now. And yes, I DO have expectations on how this is going to end up. I can't help it. Gotta admit, I'm NOT trying to suppress those expectations. I will deal with it if I am let down. I am resilient.

Okay... so thoughts on my updates? Am I reading into all of this something that really isn't there? Am I too excited?

Now what do I do???????????? Do I reach out to her as FIL strongly suggests? Do I continue sticking to strict DB rules?

I really don't know. What I do know is that OM is in for a big disappointment. He's not going to destroy my M or my family. I will prevail.

BITS!!
Denver