Till death do us part... or she leaves...

[zengypsy]

I think everyone who has responded has made some very intelligent responses. Great advice that I am even going to take with me the closer I get to my own D date.

IMHO, I don't think D is ever the right answer unless there is abuse and/or addiction and that the S perfers that lifestyle over the marriage. Having said that, I also believe that you sometimes have to let the D happen so that the WAW has the most clarity they can ever have. It is the most intense game of chicken you can play, but when the LBS is fully out of the picture, there is no one left to blame, criticize, badger, nag etc. The WAW will (hopefully) have to start looking within themselves and hopefully start taking some accountabily. Does it mean they will come back? No, but you have presented yourself in a much stronger, attractive, positive stance. Your WAW spouse always thought you week and needy - that YOUR life wouldn't function without them. Problems are portable, affairs are transient. Moving into a new apt, getting a new haircut etc. is NOT going to fix the problems within them. They are just another mask much like alcohol. I think you need to let it take it's course even if D is the way you choose. Your W will indeed realize that one day YOU are the greener grass and YOU will have the option of whether or not you want to be that greener grass.

As far as dating goes, I don't think that's a wise idea either. It would be for the wrong reasons and you don't want to hurt someone. The loneliness is hard - nights are expecially tough, but try and keep busy the best you can. You shouldn't date out of loneliness it only reiterates that you are needy and you haven't done all this work to go back to what wasn't working!

Stay strong and I will continue to follow your story!

Peace and Hugs!