Big talk tonight. I am a wreck, need support.

[hope2011]

Testing my DB skills today. One of the boys forgot his wallet on the kitchen counter this morning. When I picked it up to move it, it felt weird, almost squishy and there was a round outline you could see. I didn't look in it, I was too scared. I didn't freak out. But I took it to H and said "you need to feel this wallet". He did, he opened it and looked in... a condom. Our boys are 15. I know in this day and age a condom in the wallet of a 15 year old boy shouldn't freak me out. But I'm freaked out!!!!!!! I love these boys like my own. I lost a son many years ago (another topic for another day) so I am so overprotective of them it drives them nuts. I'd wrap them in bubble wrap every day if I could. My old self would completely freak out and want to know where/when/why. I'm the one who gave them the sex ed talk because H wouldn't. They came to me with questions until about a year ago. I thought they stopped because they were older, embarrassed, etc. Now.... ugh! 15 and having sex?!?!?!? No! We monitor everything they do here, who they hang out with, adult supervision, etc at our house and when we have them. Their mom let's them go unsupervised at her house. She's the "fun parent". So whatever they are doing on her time - we don't know. The mom in me is panicking, worried about them, wants to shelter them. They are not emotionally ready for sex, they are not responsible enough for sex, neither are in relationships or have a clue how to be respectful to girls. And they are at the age where they believe nothing bad will happen to them and condoms work 100% of the time. I can't even let them drive with their learner's permits when I'm in the car because I get so stressed out that they will wreck and get hurt.

I've been calm around H about all this. Only asked him a few questions; "are you going to tell their mom first or talk to them first?", "do you think he's just trying to be cool carrying that in his wallet?". No pushing, no nagging, no telling him what to do. Respecting him and his parenting.

So I need to calm down more and 180 more before they get home from school. Do I say nothing and let him handle it? This is the guy who wouldn't have the sex talk. He's got to step up to the plate though and talk to them now. But I can't say that.

Is it too early for a glass of wine?