A few things. I'm sure your IC might have suggested this. Is there any way to practice this with someone who you trust? One other idea is that has helped me is rehearsing what I'm going to say. (usually while I'm driving by myself) That way I can feel more relaxed saying and then focus on the response. It's might help.
I hesitated bringing up the family thing because life is different. Of course, I get burned by it. BTW, my dad didn't' talk to me for more than 10 years and didn't come to my wedding because it was the first day of hunting season. He couldn't even tell me face to face.
As far as the family conflict, let me clarify. In my family, I have no qualms, reservations about letting me needs known. In our family we are pretty darn open and if someone was p*ssing us off we'd let them know. So there were a lot of confrontations, but nothing too harmful. And for the vast majority of my marriage I had NO problems about expressing my needs (I think my biggest problem was HOW I did it) However, in light of recent events I've kinda treaded more lightly for some reason. I think fear is really taking control.
Even now I still am able to talk to my wife about lots of things. Two examples (a big one and a small one). When my W and I had been sleeping in separate rooms for about 6 weeks. I went to her one night and said that I didn't like the sleeping arrangements and I would prefer to sleep in the same bed. She got a little mad and we talked. A week or so later she said she'd given it some thought and thought we should sleep in the same bed...and we have ever since. #2 My W and I used to carpool 1-2 day/week before the bomb, it was convenient and we both like the extra time we got to spend together. But since then we haven't. On Monday night, I said to "What do you think about starting to carpool again." Pretty open ended. She was open to the idea and suggested we start the next morning. These aren't the only 2. I'm getting better, but I don't want you to get the idea that I just stew about things.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
