Rollercoaster of love

[LearningPatience]

Looks like I'm just journaling at this point. W and I had R talk last night and it went very well! I started by reiterating that I didn't want a divorce, but I can't stop her if that's really what she wants. Then I told her that as strongly as we both felt about living in the house, I would be willing to get an apartment for 6 months if she thought it would help. I think the offer, coupled with the validating I was doing kind of softened things up a bit.

We talked a little bit about timing (not until after the Super Bowl at least) and finances (I would want each of us to pay our own housing and related costs). One big kicker in our finances: we're going with a few other friends to Asia on vacation at the end of March! That and W is going to CA for spring break with her D at the beginning of March. Once W and I talked about those things I think she realized just how much this would hurt our pocketbooks and make it harder to figure out when (if) to move. We still haven't decided one way or the other whether I'll move out.

This was around 7pm. We ended up talking about other things, watching some tv, and having pizza and wine until almost 11. At one point, she asked me to look at her treadmill which had stopped working. I found a reset switch that she had missed, and once I got it working she got excited and gave me a big hug (been a while for that). She told me how much SD does not want her to leave me. I guess I was a little surprised SD felt so strongly about me; SD used to be W's complete focus, so I'm sure she doesn't want to disappoint her. Finally, by the end of the evening, she essentially asked me to tuck her into bed. She's never asked that before and it was a nice feeling also.

I know not to get my hopes up to high at this point. Been DBing long enough that I finally understand that. Still, I see lots of positives after doing some backsliding recently. It's definitely a long haul, but like my user name says, I'm finally learning patience

Oh, if anyone out there is wondering why I should move when she's the WAS, it's because the house and mortgage are in her name (we never updated it when we got M). That, and I want her to realize how much she'd miss having me around to do the fixing, cleaning, etc. It would be cheaper for me (hardly a hit to my budget at all). Finally, she could keep all the animals that way (2 dogs & 2 cats).