Did your H move out again? My H said he would be moving back to the prison barracks if they had an opening and I am alright with that. I want him to have some space.
No, he never did move out of the house or even the bedroom; but he did get his space both times, as he is a truck driver; and I'm now a truck driver, too.
Not all of the six years was bad; but most of it was.
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Anyway, his mother did the best she could raising 4 boys by herself. H's uncle said that the boys were never taught to love and I think this is so sad because I come from a very close family.
When H's mother died is when he went straight forward into MLC.
You know what love is; and he doesn't right now...our situation was much the same.
That same love you hold for him; will, in time, bring him back to you; you are the rock in his life that he never had; and a consistency, that he's never understood; but he will; as you continue to stand firm for the marriage; and hold your husband up in prayer.
When my husband's mother died in 1996; I got a "preview" into the later crisis; because he treated me like crap for 6 months after her death...he came "out" of that; I came out; but neither one of us had learned anything...and so 3 years later the big one came along.
Even if your husband doesn't move out; distance lovingly from him; he is very troubled; and children of divorce usually are...some never get over what happened; and they take it very personally; internalizing it, just as my husband did.
The difference between your husband and husband; was that my husband's mother didn't want to be a mother; and he was dumped on his sister to raise; she was 18 years older than him.
He never thought he "belonged" anywhere; and until he met and married me; his life was never stable; shifted from sister to mother, to father; and back again.
He disconnected from his sister for the duration of the crisis; reconnected; then during the extended time, disconnected again...then has reconnected since the three months after he broke his ankle.
He now sees his family quite often; and he loves them very much.
As this goes on, you will find a strength you never thought you had; and God will help you to understand more about your husband.
Get on with your life once again; knowing it is all in the Lord's hands...and hey, just so you know, you didn't fail..you did all you were supposed to do; but his movement and actions were out of your control.
You are in my thoughts and prayers....keep us posted; and enjoy your Granddaughter!
Take care.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
