DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[ScaredinCanada]

Sitch update:

So I took the girls swimming last night, my W was going to her C appointment.

We were playing in the pool, and I noticed my W was in the viewing area watching - not sure how long she was there, but the kids eventually saw her, they waved and were excited. We keep playing along and had a blast.

After we grabbed some popcorn and sat and watched kids hockey that was being played in the arena next to the pool.

I headed home and kids all fell asleep in the car. As I was transfering them into bed my W pulled up. It was only 8:30, and I didn't expect her home until 9:30pm.

Got the kids to bed, and then W mentioned that her C appointment was actually supposed to be at 6, so she missed it. She really wasn't happy about that.

We were both getting ready for bed, and at one point I was just in a t-shirt. I think my W was checking me out, maybe noticing my weight loss for once, and she just asked me what I was doing with a little laugh. I told her I was getting ready for bed as I was tired.

I don't remember exactly how it started, but she began to breakdown to a point and start talking about the R. She was saying that she can't do the living together but not being with me.

I did my best to validate her, listened better than I have in a while - tried to speak mostly when she asked me a question. She said she is scared for the kids whether this is the right thing to do, and she's afraid about going out on her own financially. It was an encouraging talk - because I validated a lot of what she said but I also got to get a lot of good points in about us not working on the M together, and that I want things to be different.

She agreed again to goto MC, and I think we both went to bed relatively happy.

In the middle of the night, I got up to goto the washroom. I was tired, and it was dark so I was just sitting on the toilet. I heard my W get up, so I kind of put my head down as I was worried she was going to turn on the bathroom light. She didn't she just walked in, and scared her when she went towards the toilet and I was there. I got up and apologized and gave her a quick hug.

The next REAL conversation will be huge, I hope that I am slowly getting through to her. She seemed much more coherent last night - speaking much more realistically about the past and our problems.