"can you please give us some info about the sitch? Like what you said about you sleeping in different rooms etc. How ar eyour schedules? Did you ever manage to find time alone?"
Well in 2007 we went thru this exact same thing. I moved out and she had a friend. Early in 2008 we got back together and had our "honeymoon" phase. After some time passed she indicated that she was feeling pressured. So I backed off. She got a new job at the end of 2008. We were a one income family up until that point. 2009 brought on the normal stuff. I had to take some "time off" from work. We were still fairly "happy". By the end of 2009 we were not "happy". Money was tight kids were messing up. My Grandfather passed away and we had to put my Grandma in a home. Christmas time came around and we fell into some of Grandpa's money. Everything seemed better. We talked some about what we would do with the "money" and it was decided that we should create a "better life". So we paid off all the debts. We started funds for college. We planned a vacation. We got a new car. We started "working" on the house.
So.. early 2010 was the start of a lot of work for me. We knocked down a wall.. we paid people to come in and paint and fix up things. There was plumbing to do. There was carpet to rip up. There was new floors to put down.
In the midst of this we were emailing every day and talking about what needed to be done.
Then one day.. it came to a head. We had a discussion about things. She indicated that she was not "happy" and that things were not working. I looked at her and said.. Then why are we doing "all this". She at that point said.. I don't know.
The next day she emailed me and said that she was still holding a lot of anger towards me and did not really understand why. She felt at that point that we needed to get some help to figure out why. I agreed and said that I did not have much hope for us.. but was willing to give it a shot.
Nothing.
At that point I just stopped. She said she had control of the situation and I was waiting to see what she did. I even told my mom that I was not going to do anything to push that along. It was the first time in a long time I had seen my wife stand up for something. But.. she did not follow thru.
By the end of 2010 we were living separate lives. So the "Bomb" showed up.
Does that catch you up?
"Because I now, truly believe that the BEST thing I can do for my kids is to be HAPPY with their dad. PERIOD."
This is how I feel.. and it has been lacking. I feel like I have expressed in every way possibly that it starts with me and her. I am not saying it the right way.. or she does not understand.
"How does that help you, you may ask me. I dont know"
Give me a new way to express it.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
