B.I.T.S., It's FOBD. I had to start a new post because the old one got too long and I didn't like the title anyway. For those that want to catch up, here is a link to the old post:
Anyway, how are all my peeps? I wish I had something new and exciting to post, but I don't. I finally heard from W today. First time since she walked out of house on Sunday. Unfortunately, it wasn't to talk to me. She has been getting calls from my 92 year old grandmother who doesn't know about the S. She called me to ask me how I would like her to address the situation. I missed her call and when I called, her she couldn't answer. Then she called me, but I was on the other line with my boss. I asked her if we could talk later tonight. She told me it would have to be early because she had plans and would not share with me what those plans were. OM lives in Canada and I am quite sure that when she was still living here, she used have a girls night out w/ her friends on the occasional Wednesday. So, I am not going to let my mind wander. I am a little upset that she is taking a dump on a very important conversation. She loves my grandmother and has been very close to her. She never really knew her own grandmothers and she has adopted mine. None the less, tonight she has chosen her plans with her friends over my grandmother apparently. She has not called back...
Anyway, I come to you tonight for help. I visited with my MC/C today and he is really pushing me hard to file for D. He once again reminded me that D's are not final and that it is simply to protect me legally. I have been very discouraged lately and have been thinking about it. Why, I don't know. I will mull that over some more and post about it tomorrow night. I guess I am pushing myself too hard. I made a list today of the things she has done:
1) Conducted EA 2) Moved out and took all possessions 3) Submitted Change of Address form to USPS 4) Changed billing address on all statements (all she gets here now is junk mail) 5) Walked away with check from me for household goods 6) Took half the kitchen 7) Signed lease on new place 8) Took me off her cell plan and made me get my own (probably to hide hundreds of texts to OM) 9) Told me repeatedly "it is over, I am not coming back." 10) Told friends it is over 11) Stopped wearing her wedding ring and anniversary band 12) Stopped calling me other than to use me as a furniture store
The list goes on and on and it is quite depressing. But, I guess maybe my DB'ing kicked in at some point because I suddenly asked myself this question, "Is anything that has been conducted on this list irreversible?" The resounding answer is "NO!" Everything she has done to this point can be taken back, changed or reversed. She has yet to take a single action that cannot be flipped back. I think I can find something positive in this. Thoughts?
So, I am ready to start working on the next stage of my DBing plan. But, how do I proceed? We apparently are now in the "friends" mode. She answers when I call and we are very friendly on the phone. But, she still doesn't refer to us in any other way other than friends. This is not all bad. She could have taken her stuff on Sunday, handed me papers and told me to piss off. So, I can find some good in where I am right now. But, I how should I proceed from here? How do I stay in her life without pursuing or looking like I am trying to do such a thing? I will continue to GAL. I will continue to go to the gym. I will continue to play nice with her and not take the bait to fight when offered. But, what next? Should I spend some time with a DB coach? I want to keep the ball moving forward, but I am not sure how to proceed. Any success stories out there? Team, you have a BITS in need right now. Please help?
BTW, I know I keep referring to my MC as my MC, but I guess he has become more of a C now. He is very concerned about my W and the games she is playing. So, I guess the truth is that now he is my C. Anyway, my C today asked me if I have considered going out on a date? I told him "no," but I was getting lonely. I work in outside sales and this week I had to conduct a presentation with a very attractive co-worker. Nothing going on here. She is engaged to a very large gentleman who would crush me like a grape. But, while at lunch I noticed how nice it was to sit across a table from a pretty lady while eating and conversing. My W was quite cute and I do miss sitting in a restaurant and just talking with her. I miss the interaction. I miss the touch of W's skin. I miss the feel of my W's lips. I want her back so bad it hurts. But the loneliness is getting hard.
Team, I have another issue I would like to post to the group, but this is too long already. More tomorrow night.
BITS, remember, the only easy day was yesterday!
FOBD, out!
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
