Scared and Alone

[FellOnBlackDays]

Lost,
Sorry to see you struggling. I hate to a BITS in trouble again. OK, I know I could be hung for saying this, but do you think that some time apart might help? I am not pushing you in any way. I am just asking because it does sound like he is really starting to get on your nerves. And that is not good. Is there a chance you could take a vacation right now or go away by yourself for a period? I know that he was just away on a trip, but you stayed home in the negative environment. It might now be your turn to take a trip and "get some fresh air." I am very sorry that you are so upset. I honestly don't think I could ever work in the same building with my W even when thinking back to the best of times. Couples need to have some time apart each day to miss each other and you definitely have a tough sitch there.

I also find it quite disrespectful that he is carrying on that way at work with OW. Frankly, if it wasn't completely against the rules of DB'ing, I would suggest that you get some payback for that behavior. But, we both know that won't do any good, so don't do it. None the less, the pictures on FB is really out of line and you might not be out of line to ask him, out of respect for your marriage, to think twice about that action. Just a thought. I don't want you to pick a fight, but that is really not cool. Just my two cents.

As for his constant hanging around, that sounds like indecision. Just today my MC and I were talking about this kind of behavior. He told me that in the mind of a WAS, they reach a point where they don't want to be married, but they also don't want to be divorced. They just sit there in Purgatory and drag us in with them. Don't follow him. Start to take some control back. Carefully and politely, start to take some control back.

Keep us updated.

BITS never walk alone.

FOBD