I WILL Attain my Goals - Personal and M

[FellOnBlackDays]

JB3,
This is FOBD. Back when I was in the service, we used the term B.I.T.S. when you and a buddy would get yourselves into some trouble. As 2step explained, it stands for Brothers in the Sh*t. When you and a buddy would declare B.I.T.S., you were not allowed to leave that buddy behind or without cover for any circumstance. So, when I struck up my friendship with Denver, I declared B.I.T.S. on he and I. It has just grown from there. I welcome all members, male and female. Ladies, I am sorry that "Brothers" is a male term, but you know you are welcome. Actually, we have a couple of female members at this time. I was going to change it to People in the Sh*t, but I don't want to be know as the PITS. So, anyway, I am kind of the founder and Denver would be my Sergent At Arms. We have got 2step, Lost, Dixie, Scared, MJ, Navy and the list goes on. I am sorry if I forgot anyone. Wear your BITS patch with honor. Someday you will look back on these dark days and find some strength in what you endured.

B.I.T.S. never walk alone.

FOBD

[FellOnBlackDays]

Denver,
How are you, buddy? I read your post tonight and it has really got me thinking. What did you find out? What has changed? Have you confirmed the presence of the OM? Please, guy, you are killing us here. Talk to me, Goose? (bad Top Guy reference. I was in the air corp while I was in the USN).

BITS

FOBD

[Denver_2010]

if she was able to do all this and look you in the eye as if she couldn't care less and was 100% confident in herself and her actions... wouldn't that be more worrisome?

Yes Hope... I think that you are dead on. I really do think that it is because she is beginning to have doubts... update to come.

Lost - I'm glad that you love my post! I have been running on adrenaline re sitch for about 24 hours. I think I am ready to go on the offensive. Update to come!!

BITS
Denver

[Denver_2010]

Sorry FOBD... having problems with posting still... I never know when they're actually going to show up on my thread. (BTW, I liked the Top Gun reference!)...

[2stepboogie]

Hey FOBD

What's your status? Haven't seen your post

[FellOnBlackDays]

I am about to fire up a new one. Old one got too long. Should be up in about 30 minutes. Anyone heard from Denver? I am worried about my buddy.

BITS

FOBD

[2stepboogie]

I am worried about Denver also. Hey man if your out there come back. We are pulling for you here. I feel like I know you guys like family. Who among us was this open with our feeling with othre men before all this happen.

And they men can't really make an emotional connection. HA!

I am more of a woman now hahaha

[Denver_2010]

Thanks BITS for all of the concern! My previous post today where I said that I was fired up was actually bc I am more determined than ever! Nothing bad. So here is my update. I'm sorry it is so long...

Journal/Update:

1/24/11
NO CONTACT

1/25/11

I didn't hear from W all day... no surprise really. I was just hanging out at home, posting here, and playing with the dogs last night not really expecting much.

Then, at 10:30 p.m. W initiates text conversation out of the blue about something that just wasn't something that she needed to contact me about. For context, W and I are still on same cell phone plan and have the exact same cell phone.

W: "I just discovered that if you hold down the bottom left button on your phone and press the space bar, it will scroll up quickly if you accidentally hit something that makes your messages jump WAY back in the past"

Me: "LOL... We've owned these phones for how long? And neither of us knew that all this time. Pretty funny. Thx for letting me know. That is soooo frustrating!"

W: "I hate my phone. Its broken and freezes up. Have credit for new one, but no time to buy. SS is annoying me and I should be asleep."

Me: "How do you have credit for a new one? Do I? I hate my phone too."

W: "I don't know. After a certain amount of time they will give you credit for a phone or to apply to a bill I think. Its a scam to get you to renew the contract."

Me: "Did u know verizon will soon offer the iphone? And I hear that the droid is great too."

W: "I'd like the iphone. Especially since I'm a mac girl now."

Me: "Ha!! Yeah, me too! ... I mean I would like the iphone... not mac girl ;)"

W: "I better crash now. Gotta be up at 5. SS is still jackin around... and to top it off, he discovered my [sex toy] tonight while snooping. I could kill him! Ahhh!!"

Me: "Yikes... I don't know what to say bout that. Guess let me know if u need me to talk to him about it. Not sure I'd know what to say though."

W: "Uhhh how about... some sh!t you don't want to know about kid Never snoop through a woman's stuff. Geez! I can't even explain that one and I' pretty open with him."

Me: "Goodnight W"

W: "Talk to you later. Night."

--------

So about half way through that conversation, my FIL begins texting me too. I will edit this one for brevity.

FIL: "Can you meet me for coffee tomorrow?"

Me: "can't tomorrow... 10 on Friday? You know I have to ask... bad news bout W and/or my M?"

FIL: "10 on Friday will work. And I will give you the same response I always do... of course not! I told you this weekend. Have Faith!"

Me: "Ok. I just get nervous FIL. Sorry."

FIL: "BTW, have you sent her any flowers since I suggested it?"

Me: "No... I don't think that it is a good idea. I think that it would be pressuring her. Push her farther away."

FIL: "Haven't you heard the phrase 'he who hesitates is lost?'... JUST DO IT, AND DO IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!!!"

Me: "I was thinking maybe for valentines day but am not sure about that either."

FIL: "I've got the inside scoop man... she thinks you don't care bc you're giving her too much space... send her a flower every day, and then a dozen or more on V day... She wants to be romanced again!!! Quit thinking like a Martian... she's from Venus"

Me: "Trust me FIL, if I thought it would help, I'd send her every flower at the florist for the rest of my life. Bt I aslo know what she asked from me... space. I just feel that I need to respect her on that."

FIL: "I'm trying to tell you... if you dn't act, SOON, you're gonna lose her. See you Friday morning."

Me: "You have me very interested in what u have to say FIL!! You have to understand that I am getting the exact opposite advice from experts on the subject of M separation... On pursuing and pressuring."

FIL: "She's softening, but she thiks you don't care bc you've stopped pursuing her... ask her out to dinner and pour your heart out like you did to me weeks ago. I've heard it, but she hasn't. You need to tell her!"

Me: "I need to hear what u have heard. Trust me, I'm trying everything I can to repair my M. Oh, and btw, if I do... This won't happen again."

FIL: "10 on Friday?"

Me: "Yes"

[Denver_2010]

11/26/11

So I end up running into FIL with SS this afternoon while I was having coffee. FIL had picked up SS from school bc he came down with pink eye.

SS latched onto me as usual. I gave him some money to run across the street to get ice cream.

FIL tells me that W's mom told him this... "if Denver plays his cards right, he can probably get W back."

He goes onto to tell me that W is telling her mom and sister that she doesn't think that I really love her bc I'm not doing anything to pursue her.

I asked how he knows that she told sister this. FIL says that sister called W's mom last night and told her that W had said that to her.

I told FIL that I didn't know what to do. The same stuff basically that I said in the text conversation I had with him the night before (above).

FIL tells me that I am giving W too much space and giving OM a chance to succeed in what he is trying to do.

I got p*ssed... not a FIL... just in general and said "OM is a predator attacking my W and family!"

FIL told me that I "could look at it that way." He went on to say that he does not know if W has had an affair with the guy, but that she spent time with him immediately after she moved out bc she was sad and lonely... and OM took the opportunity bc he is interested. He reiterated that he doesn't THINK that they are spending as much time together but he thinks that OM is still interested in my W.

I told FIL that I had to think about what I am going to do going forward.

I hung out with FIL for about 20 more minutes. W called SS to see how he was feeling. They then left.

W then called my phone. I ignored her call and then called her back about 20 minutes later.

W asked me if I thought SS was faking his pink eye to get out of school. I told her that I wasn't sure, but I didn't think so bc eye was pretty red. We chit chatted for a few minutes about what she did at work. I ended the convo and we both said 'talk to you later'.

Very pleasant conversations going on here!

Sooo, after all of this, I became extremely motivated, encouraged and FIRED UP! I drove to work at about 100 mph bc I had adrenaline rushing through my veins. "This is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars came on the radio and I turned it up full blast!

I decided that I was going to post my intention to hang OM by the end of this...

I'm going to send him to some website for broken hearted predators who prey on the wives of other men! This is a promise...

BITS!
Denver

[Denver_2010]

Further update for 1/26/11

I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop typing my journal updates that I just posted here at 8:30 p.m. or so tonight. While I was typing away, deep in thought, my SS comes up behind me and shakes me... he tried to scare me. Pretty funny. But it was a surprise bc he and W had seen me sitting in the coffee shop while getting some dinner across the street. SS asked W if they could stop in and see me... she said yes!!

My W pretended that she needed to buy some coffee and that is why she came in, but I'm now convinced that she is beginning to miss me.

She and I talked for about 1/2 hour about a bunch of different stuff. She still had some trouble making eye contact, but this contact seemed much more comfortable than what we had this past weekend.

At one point, SS told me to walk a few feet away from W so he could whisper something to me. I did and SS whispered to me to ask W if she would go to church with me on Sunday... so cute! I told him that I wasn't going to do that. So we walk back to W and W asks SS "are you trying to scam Denver"... SS says 'no, I told him to ask you to go to church with him, but he won't, so I'll do it for him... will you go to church with him on Sunday." W declined, but she was smiling.

W has the same car as me and mentioned some light that was going on and some problem with her power outlet that she uses for MP3 player. I offered to go out to her car and look at it to see if the light was something out of the ordinary and to see if I could fix the power outlet. We all walked out and got into her car. Me in the driver seat, W in the back seat behind me. I figured the stuff out and then got out. W's child lock was on so she couldn't open the back door to get out... I joked "Now I have you right where I want you"... she laughed.

We said our goodbyes and again, we each said 'I'll talk to you later'.

I have to admit that during much of our conversation my head was swirling. I was very unprepared to DB during this bc I was surprised. I think I did a good job though. I acted as if I was in a great mood, which actually I was bc it was going so well.

I didn't say anything stupid. But at one point, I wanted so badly to tell her how much I miss her and how much I love her. There was a second when I thought "end this WAW stuff now... reach out to her... hug her... tell her how you feel." I held back though.

Obviously, my hope are very high right now. And yes, I DO have expectations on how this is going to end up. I can't help it. Gotta admit, I'm NOT trying to suppress those expectations. I will deal with it if I am let down. I am resilient.

Okay... so thoughts on my updates? Am I reading into all of this something that really isn't there? Am I too excited?

Now what do I do???????????? Do I reach out to her as FIL strongly suggests? Do I continue sticking to strict DB rules?

I really don't know. What I do know is that OM is in for a big disappointment. He's not going to destroy my M or my family. I will prevail.

BITS!!
Denver