Thank you sooooo much Hope and Yoyo! Thank you for your words of encouragement and praise!!! It really helps so much and thank you for sharing your wisdom and stories/struggles with me.
Ive prayed about it a lot and feel like I have my wits about me again. I had a good convo w/the C today. It helped a bit. But, I had a great convo w/my Dad!! I was shocked when he started saying things that sounded like DBing! lol
He told me, do not pursue at all. He said, if I'm there when he comes to get the Dog. Be nice, friendly, even smile and then leave first! Tell him thank you for letting me have the dog and go. But, do not talk about the relationship or what has happened. It must appear that you have accepted this...even if I have not.
WOW, I could've saved some money folks on the C today!!! If I would have talked to my DAD first!!! Funny cause, I never talk to my Dad about these things. He also helped me understand how I hurt H pride and what matters the most to men. Respect! How a man when respected by his wife feels loved. Dad had some really good things to say and he wants us to work! WOW!!!!
So, okay men folk out there!! Would you agree????
Well, I just got home from Church Choir. Gonna spend some time w/the Dog, tidy up the house and get to bed early. I'll need it for 2morrow.
Thank yall! I'm so blessed to have all of yall to help hold me up!!!
-Praying for us all always,
Dix
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
Give me your dad's number he is spot on. Being respected to a man is like being listnen to woman. We each have our needs. Men are from Mars Women are from Venus is great book. I suggest you pick up a copy and read it. It won't solve your situation but it will give you great insight into what men think and why.
I understood myself a lot when I read it but most importantly I understood my W
Another good book is "Love and Respect" Emerson Eggerichs I think I should re-read it.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Dixie, Feeling your pain and want you to know you are not alone. BITS never walk alone!
Look, on Sunday I freaked and left the house right before W got there to move out. And you know what, I AM GLAD I DID IT. I think my W had it all worked out in her head that I would be there and we would have a "good ole time" moving her out. I could sense some serious disappointment in her voice when I informed her I was not going to be there. Why, I don't know. I thought we were finished? Just a little sarcasm.
Anyway, it is OK. You are doing fine. But do go back to my earlier post to you. I still don't like what he is doing to you. It is not fair. You should not be anyone's "insurance policy." Get on the phone with a coach and get back in control of this thing. You have read my threads. No, I am not in the best place right now. But, it does make you feel better when you take some control. Do what Bond said. Mess with his mind just a bit and see what happens. I think he continues to mess with you because he has no fear of you being gone. You need to start making him feel like he could lose you.
Head up, chin out!
B.I.T.S.
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
"Love and Respect" Emerson Eggerichs is a wonderful book. I'm 3/4 of the way through it and it's really opened my eyes a lot and I'm applying of the respect advice and I think it's helping quite a bit. It's a great companion to DB. Highly, highly recommend it.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
Hope, Will you share that book with the men on here? It is a powerful book IMO as well.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I think men and women both need to read it, regardless of how their relationships are. It puts "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" to shame on the real differences between men and women. It's so simple..... men need Respect, that's how they feel loved. Women need Love (emotional and physical affection), that how we feel loved.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
