I have done everything wrong....

[Denver_2010]

Denver, I know I need to stop but I can't.

Yes, you can. You have to begin to focus. It will get easier (I didn't say easy). I promise.

I am constantly wondering how j got here and why I was slow to act when she initially reached out to me. I know the answer to that to...I thought I had more time. I made the mistake of not putting my relationship first. This seems so unfair, as now I see the light and will never make the same mistakes again, no matter who I am with.

This seems unreal to me also, like half of who I defined myself as just walked away from myself, and now I am supposed to detach like I did not need that part of me. This is so hard,

These are thoughts that everyone on this board has had or is having Islander. you are not alone. All any of us can do is do our best to look at it as an opportunity for personal growth... an opportunity to become better people, better S's.... with our current S or with another. I know that it's tough to look at that way, but again, it gets easier.

I read the 37 rules and they make sense, and I have already implemented some of them. W text me an hour ago to let me know our balance and said she was would call in a min. She always says she is going to call, then doesn't. I want to call her but I am not. I just replied "ok" about 20 min after W text me.

Follow those rules to a T for a while. Practice makes perfect. Next, wait 24 hours to text her back next time. Stop being so available to her. I'd actually suggest that you go completely dark for a while (if I haven't already). "Darkness" hurts, but it allows you to get yourself emotionally grounded and ready to Divorce Bust. It also allows your W an opportunity to calm down and, maybe, even miss you.

I just feel all the time that there is no hope for my sitch, but I know the truth is that I don't know what the future holds.

There is always hope Islander. Hang in there. TIME and PATIENCE can pay off.

It will get better man!!!

BITS
Denver