Lighthouse lit until WAW comes out of fog 2

[habitacker]

Angel, I am with you, it can get confusing living together, but I am sure it is better than apart. So I am very thankful for that.

Phoenix,

I do not think I am pursuing.

I have gone through the reasons in the past why I think an A is unlikely. I am 96 percent sure on this. I really don't wish to explain all the reasons why again.

So, I must not be focused enought on myself. This I know.

The statement, Be who I want to be. I have heard this over and over. I want to be my W husband, I want to have a happy family. This is all I want, and all that is important to me. I can't change the way I feel, no more than I change the way my W feels.

My whole marriage and the first years of my children's lives have been wasted by me and my huge time consuming hobby's. I don't want that anymore. My GAL is my W and family. I do not know how to do any different. If this is what I want, why should I?

As for what I need to do for myself if things don't work out? Why can I not deal with that when the time comes. I am really tired of being told to prepare myself for the end of my marriage. I feel selfish worrying about myself, I put my W and kids way higher than myself on my priority list. If this is wrong, so be it.

Yes, fighting for my marriage is also about me and what I want, but a happy marriage is something that includes us all. When my family is at stake, I can care less what happens to me and what I want.

If this is somehow unattractive to a woman, scr#w em!