Forgive me if this is redundant. Several things I would like to answer.
1 There aren't many success stories posted cuz there aren't that many successes. Percentage wise
2) I think what coach was trying to say is that you aren't focused enough on you. Don't look to your wife much for her reaction to your actions. Do what you need to for yourself to become alright with the outcome, whatever it is. Be who you want to be. If she wants part of that..great, if not then you haven't lost much
3) she doesn't have to talk about the R because there isn't one as far as she's concerned. She wants out. She'll let you know otherwise.
4) if you are seeing no improvement then ask yourself why....you are either pursuing, not focused enough on yourself, or there is someone else (is there?). If she's cheating you win't matter as long as he's in the picture.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
