hope you love her, cause you're stuck with her now

[ImprovedRomeo]

Hey look on the bright side you can just buy a "mini" gift now

In all seriousness though it is unfair Michelle

While I don't know the specifics I know lots of ex's can put their differences aside on occasions such as wedding, birth, death etc and deal with it in a mature manner. But I can understand it being harder if you guys are in new R

[kat727]

I hear ya Michelle. I am sorry. Your poor sister in law has been sweating bullets trying to make everyone happy. Nice wedding present to his sister...NOT.

I think you should still go up and share time with them as it seems to mean a lot to both you and her.

Big hugs! kat

[MichelleLT]

I'm not entirely sure who she thinks would find it awkward. xMIL probably. xMIL tries way too hard to please everyone. And XH I'm sure. But it's not like he has to talk to me, so I don't really see why it would be that big a deal.

My R with Roger isn't new. We've been dating over 2 years now, and it's not a secret from anyone, including my former in laws. I have no idea who XH will bring to the wedding, if anyone. I stopped keeping track of whether he was broken up or back together with the main OW a long time ago. I certainly wouldn't be happy about seeing her again, but it's not like I have to talk to either one of them.

SIL is not usually so anxious, I half expected her to just invite everyone. I guess that really disappoints me. I've been really looking forward to this. I appreciate the dinner invite, but it's just not the same.

[mishka422]

UGH! I'm so sorry Michelle. That really stinks.

It's difficult to know how to handle former in-laws. While you're no longer tied to them, you're still 'tied' to them emotionally.

IMO, meet them for dinner, congratulate them and wish them well. I really think you would regret it later if you didn't.

[JCJ]

Hey Michelle,

I would meet them for dinner, it does suck but realistically a bride just wants an easy day and it may be her way of avoiding any scene. Perhaps it is her brother that she is not sure of rather than you.

[MichelleLT]

I just don't even know how to reply to her. I mean, yeah, dinner is something. But I can't believe she's going along with this bs. I haven't had any real contact with his family since like September. That's plenty of time for things to blow over. What could she possibly be worried about?!?!?!?

[MichelleLT]

Part of me wants to send him an e-mail. But I know in the mood I'm in it would go something like "Thanks for getting me uninvited to your sister's wedding. I hope you are finally happy. Are you ever going to grow up?"

So not a good idea.

But then, part of me says he must be at the root of this. Why else would she be worried about it unless he had asked if I was invited or some such??? And that makes me want to ask him why it's a problem. Why he even cares. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I guess I need to ask her why it's a problem. Cuz I really don't understand where this is coming from. I guess until I know, I can't really decide what to do.

[JCJ]

I've had to go along with bs stuff because of family peace before. It's annoying but you have to do it. It sounds like it is hard for her too.

With your exh, you could send the email but it would be opening up a can of worms, and you should consider whether you want that or step back.

(((Michelle)))

It is cr@p though!

[Reincarnated]

Michelle -
The thing is, you really don't know what has transpired between your x and his sister. He may have made it a big deal, and now she is caught in the middle. It seems like she is trying to make the best of it, but it is her brother.
I found this out the hard way. Even after being a member of the family for 20+ years, out of two BIL's and two SIL's and their respective spouses, I only keep in touch with half of them. I have a 2 year old nephew who I have never met.

I'm sorry...

[MichelleLT]

Well, talked to xSIL yesterday. Had a very nice long chat and put a lot of stuff out there.

She has not talked to XH about the wedding specifically. But he as recently as a couple months ago was still being immature and manipulative in regards to me. He sent xMIL an e-mail telling her that she shouldn't talk to me and invite me to things. xSIL only knows about this cuz xFIL told her, xMIL has said nothing to anyone else. xFIL and xSIL are pissed because XH is using her fear that he will stop talking to her against her to get what he wants. It's sorta worked - I haven't really heard from her, although I did get an e-Christmas card.

I told xSIL that I appreciate the position she's in, that I know she doesn't want to deal with drama, just wants to enjoy her day, that I don't want to cause her any issues. That no matter what I would not hold it against her.

She decided XH can suck it up. There's gonna be like 130 people there, he's a groomsman so he'll be sitting at the head table and doing his own thing and I can avoid him and vice versa. So, if I can get the day off from drill, I am invited.