Having a hard time... II

[what next?]

You're right. I realize that most of my decisions are driven by fear right now. I'm trying to be objective but it's pretty much not possible when it comes down to it.

I would just rather have a reason to call like "Did my check come? Ok, I'll come by and pick it up on Friday, hope you are doing well... bye"

something like that so that I don't have to ad lib because I'm definitely not in the right frame of mind to let it flow lol. But I know my check is there, I don't want to call and pressure her to give me the list of the bills because for all I know she is taking time to think... I just keep going back to the mantra of "when in doubt, do nothing."