Newbie post What to do now

[JustStunned]

So Tuesdays W and I are supposed to meet at the house and clean up our mess. Yesterday I received a text asking if I was planning on it or something else. I replied I planned on cleaning, but it was up to her if she wanted to stop by.

She was there when I got home drinking a cup of tea alone. She has previously stated she did not trust me not to get violent with her and that was why she would never be alone with me again. There is no basis for her lack of trust. It does not reflect reality. We made small talk while I fed the dog and I managed to keep the conversation neutral. I told her if she wished me to continue feeding the cats I would need her to provide the food. She agreed to provide cat food. She seemed to appreciate I would continue to care for her cats and that I had recently purchased food for them. This is a 180 as I have never seen the logic in feeding the 6 feral strays. I asked about DIL’s M. apparently the assisted living place wants my W to move furniture out and into storage. W was hinting I should help her do this. Normally this is something I would have jumped to help with. I didn’t this time. She did not ask, and I did not volunteer. Oddly I do not feel bad about it.

I received a text from one of the SIL inviting me to dinner. So I told W I now had plans and she would need to leave in thirty minutes. She seemed to alternate between anger and sadness the whole time she was there. She seemed to gain composure when she informed me of what her L told her to do. The L doesn’t want us to have contact and to let each of our Ls manage the D. She emptied a storage closet of her summer clothes and left.

Later at SIL for dinner the stress hit me. I spent most of the rest of the evening depressed. Not for the way I handled it or how well it went. I think it went pretty good. Rather for the sitch and lack of progress I am making. Today I realize I have been barely at this for three weeks and the road is long.