Need advice please!!! Not sure on next move?

[Yoyowife]

Dixie,
As I read your threads I was so reminded of my own situation. My husband blindsided me and walked out Oct. 2006. Of couse I found out later he and his secretary were having an affair.

I held on to hope for so long and as many told me, let him cake eat. He went back and forth telling me he was going to come home. He filed for divorce in June 2007 and then called it off the following summer 2008 saying he thought we could work it out. Keep in mind he never moved back home.

He continued to go between me and the OW. Finally in 2009 I made up mind that I would no longer tolerate his treatment of me and filed for divorce myself. It was final in June 2010.

I will tell you all the mistakes I made in order to help you. I pursed him when I knew I shouldn't. I would find any little thing I could to call him. I jumped at every chance I had to spend with him. Yes, I was at his beck and call...ashamed to admit.

The few times that I was strong enough to back off, he would come around saying he was sorry. I of course did not follow through with the LRT long enough. Once he knew he had me right where he wanted, he would start his bad behavior again.

My advice to you is to go very dark on him and start doing things for yourself. Adopt a new puppy or get a older dog from the shelter. I know they are so much company, I am a dog lover. Go for long walks, volunteer with your church, just find something that you enjoy doing and keep busy.

Make sure you are not around him until you are strong enough to see him without being emotional. When he comes to get the dog, be gone.

I think the only chance you have of saving your marriage is to
GAL and drop the rope. Looking back I may have been able to save my marriage if I had been stronger.

I am happy to report that I am in a very good place now. I am dating a wonderful man now that I absolutely adore and he adores me back. We went to college together and reconnected on Facebook after almost 30 years! It is so nice to be told nice things about myself instead of criticism.

I have not posted in so long, but your story just compelled me me to reply. I wish you the best. If you have any questions, I'll be happy to try to answer them. I'm pulling for you.

Hugs, Yoyo