SIC, your last 2 paragraphs are the hardest part.

I really don't care about myself after D. It would be like everything I cared about was gone.

Now, don't everyone jump my a** about writing that, I know what is wrong with it, just don't know how to change it.

H-40 W-38
Together-20
Married-12
boy-7 girl-3
bomb-9/17/10
No papers
live together
No affair