You can call my story what ever you like - a success, a new beginning or just dumb luck. I've only been on here about 3 months and I was a very bad Dber.
My W dropped the bomb on Nov. 8, 2010. I cried and pleaded for about 10 minutes. Then I calmed down and asked her to re-think on it. She gave me a week. When that week was over she reiterated the bomb. Of course, I cried, but didn't really plead.
So she gave me a list of things she wanted from me during this time - basically she wanted space, we didn't sleep in the same rooms, she didn't want me to send her flowers, cards, presents, etc.
I complied, but he only thing I really respected was the space thing and the no presents thing.
By late Nov., she agreed to take Divorce off the table. On Dec. 3, she told me she wanted to work on the M and set up an MC session that day.
But I did bring up the R at least 3 times mostly at the urging of my MC. She also brought it up as well.
I know her turnaround was very fast and I'm really appreciative. I know people are in worse situations. During the time I didn't follow DB to the letter. I mostly did what worked because that way I was sincere about it.
My point (gee you had one, harrier) is that if you feel that there is now a time to have an R talk. Have it, bring it up. Clearly this is weighing on you. It's making it so you can't really move on.
It may be painful. Hell mine were extremely painful. Know that going in. But really do you think you will be in a worse position. If you think communication issues are what lead you to the point you are at, I wonder if the no R talk cements that in your W's mind.
If you do bring it up. I'd remember this thought most times how an argument/talks ends is how it began. Don't go int with guns blazing, build up to the issue if you have to.
Now you can take this advice for what is is worth. Which is not much considering. Many would disagree, but you are the one that has to live with whether you talk or not.
But I really admired your fortitude in sticking with the DB.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
