I think you're a few threads behind coach.
I followed my DB coach's advice.

W is hell bent on D and hell bent on OM.
AND !!!! You don't know her.

I may appear passive; but I have only been trying to prepare.
The D will sort everything out.

Only after she's on her own can there be any progress in either direction.

Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."