I am so very proud of myself. I faced a fear head on last night with a big smile on my face.
Last night I was texting H back and forth about the Ds going to swim team practice. He had told me he would take them and he was texting me that D13 was telling him that she didn't want to go. I was driving at the time down Main Street and I don't text while driving, I am passing the bar the the OW works at and his truck is in the parking lot. I pulled in, parked, got out and walked into the bar. I was walking across the bar with a big confident smile on my face. My H had a suprised look, but not a panic look. The OW was not bartending, it was her best friend who has emailed me some really mean things in the past and is the one who constantly tags my H and the OW in photos on FB. THE LOOK ON HER FACE WAS PRICELESS!!!
I looked good, just came from work so I was dressed very professionally. I walked right over to my H and said that I was driving by noticed his truck and thought I would just talk to him in person about the girls. He said it was no problem, he would leave and go take them. He was sitting with a friend that I know and we chit-chatted for a moment. My H asked me if I wanted a drink, I said no - I just wanted to stop in quick and talk to him in person. Said good-bye with the same smile on my face and walked out.
The OW wasn't there....but it doesn't matter! I didn't know she wasn't going to be there and I wouldn't have done anything differently had she been there. I didn't care anymore, I wasn't angry, I was totally confident. I am an adult. I know I am a better human being than she is. But it doesn't matter - I faced a fear of meeting her. Faced the fear of "what would I do if I met her".
Now I know, and I just don't care about her and him together. I am finding my peace...I know I don't have it yet, but I am getting closer.
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
