Need advice please!!! Not sure on next move?

[dixiegal]

Thanks 2step and lost,

Yes Lost, I did take out my Bible and read it! I also do it from work via internet too during the day. I've been taking time every morning when I first wake up to pray/read my bible. It helps me to not focus on my sitch and put the focus on GOD.

However, I'm pretty emotional today. I cried this morning walking the dog, getting ready for work, on the way to work/when I got in my office and now. I'm trying to hold it together. I have Choir tonight at Church. So, I know that will help.

But, I'm just so scared to be alone in the house. With the Dog at house this last two weeks. It helped take my mind off of things. It kept me busy. Taking care of her helped a lot. I guess, thats me. I like to take care of those I love....

Someone said to me, "least you don't have kids". It sent me into a crying fit! Because, I want kids. I have for the last 5 years. Now, I'm 40 and fear its no longer possible. Plus, here I am in this sitch and time is passing everyday...plus if I had kids it least it would help me focus on something else than this. At least, I would have the best part of me and H.

I;m suppose to speak to this C today via phone (not from DBing). So, maybe he will offer some insight for 2morrow's interaction with H when he gets the Dog.

But, for the most part I know no R talk. Just act happy, look and smell nice. Leave the house first...

I need ya'lls prayer's today folks-

Sometimes, I wish I could just cut it off. Ya know, be like them. Just have one day where I didnt care, miss or love my H. But, I can't no matter how hard I try to pretend.

Dix