DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[ScaredinCanada]

I just wish I could read her mind, because I can see at times when she is telling me stuff that she is clearly not telling me everything.

So her trip at the end of February is booked, and I think because of my fears that she may have a EA/PA while away for a week without me or the kids she has decided to take D6 with her.

I just can't understand how they can be so cold. How she seems to have so little disregard for the R. At the same time anytime I talk about going out on my own (without giving her an explaination) its 20 questions! I don't know if it's because she hopes I've met someone else or she still cares and wants to make sure nothing is going on.

I'm still married, and I've never strayed (in any way) while I've been in any type of R. With my W, a total of 15 years I've been 100% faithful. I'm starting to get frustrated with the lack of intamacy, any sort of touching. Hugging, kisses, holding hands, cuddling and sex...I miss it all, and at this point it almost feels like it's all I really miss.

I guess eventually I'll get over it, but for now it's really tough. How can she do this too me!!