Lighthouse lit until WAW comes out of fog 2

[Denver_2010]

Thanks dbmod.

Well, I might of avoided disaster tonight. After going so long with no R talk of any kind, I came within touching the bedroom doorknob a few minutes ago.

I got really frustrated tonight about her lack of anything. I know this is normal to feel like I am doing all the work, and she is getting off easy.

I admit I was an awfully angry and grouchy guy over the last few years, and she has every right to feel the way she does. In her eyes she sees that as who I am. Well, she's wrong. She didn't marry that guy. I had problems, I would say in some ways sick. I would say probably a combination of MLC and frustration with communication. We were not communicating or showing love and affection the way we used to. She dealt with these problems by holding it in, I dealt with it with anger.

I know neither one of us understood this. Now I see what was going on with myself, and I see what she was doing also.

This is what I almost entered the room to have R talk was about. It is something I want her to understand. I feel like I was almost sick with the place I was in. Maybe I was.

If my W had problems and was sick mentally or physically that would cause things to be the way they were with me, or if she was just in a place in her life where issues like this happen, I would stand by her no matter what.

Isn't she supposed to also? Isn't that what for better or worse is all about? I thought I married someone who would honor this no matter what? What ever happened to this type of marriage?

It breaks my heart more that she won't try, than her actually not loving me

Our W's need to figure it out in their own way... in their own time. Just as they couldn't force us to not be angry, depressed or whatever prior to them dropping the bomb, we cannot force them to do what we want right now.

I relate to how you feel brother. And I can relate to many things in your sitch. But the reality that we came to where we are today in our own time. We don't get to determine the time that they come around. We can't force it on them. We can't control them. Just as they could not control us when we were damaging the M.

That is why you didn't turn that doorknob.

BITS
Denver