2step,
I hear you, brother. You are right. It is hard to distinguish between detaching with love and just saying, "screw you." I am struggling with that right now. They are days where I think to myself, "Thanks for leaving me, wife." Then there are days when I realize that she was pushed to leave... by ME! My attitude just depends on the day. So, don't feel bad if that is what you are fighting with right now.

Detaching with love is a tough one. I am with you. I am not sure I want to be friends with my W either. If this thing really ends for good, I really have no desire to see her again. I want to be her husband or a ghost, and nothing in between. To see her again with another man would be devastating. Once I move on, I want to heal and forget her. Is that the best attitude? Probably not. But, for now, it is the way I feel.

Why don't you post some questions on how to deal with the geographical distance. Maybe others can help. My W now lives in an apartment five miles from me, so I am not the one to tell you how to deal with that. I am very sorry you have this added issue to your sitch. It seems at times that this whole thing is already tough enough without other factors being thrown in like physical distance and other men.

Just keep coming here. I find something new and interesting here every night.

B.I.T.S.

FOBD

Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...