Where to even begin...

[Denver_2010]

Is fear clouding your judgment? Possibly. Certainly, your sitch is unique due to your W's deployment.

How often do you email your W, again?

Does she respond?

If no, when was the last time that she did?

Does she initiate contact of any kind?

How often do you send care packages?

How long is W's deployment?

Has W told you where she plans to live when she returns?

The question is whether or not you are pursuing and pressuring your W with what you are doing now. I agree that seeing your changes is more difficult with her deployment, but I think that it is still possible. IF you can get to a point where she is initiating contact, you can slowly move into friendly back and forth contact. I think that it is possible that she will be able to 'see' your changes through your communication, how you talk to her, what you say to her... But I think that we need to figure out where you are exactly in the steps...