I understand she's irrational and emotional right now. Logic will not win the day. So how should I expect any reasonable approach to work? (Keeping in mind that my progress comes first right now.)
Realizing this ^^^^ is big. After a while, you just find yourself
prepared a little more each time. I still struggle with knowing
each interaction with W is going to be emotion over logic. I have
noticed if I am tired, I am much more easily sucked back in to
reacting in a way that I would prefer not to react.
As far as expecting any reasonable approach to work, there are no
expectations in MLC. However, for you, and me, instead of
reacting and just listening (hence the koolaid) seems to always
pan out to be the best practice.
Realize the nonsense will continue to spew out throughout the
crisis and probably beyond. As Mach or Jack likes to say,
if it stings, you have been given a chance to look at yourself
to work on whatever stings.
You can also get practice at validating. Have you seen the
youtube on that yet?
I don't only do more validating with my W, I also practice
with the gas station clerk, the grocery checker, the bank teller,
the waitress, etc. It will brighten your day after enough times.
I say practice because how else will you let it become part of
you to become sincere in validating?
BECAUSE.... you will need it. Whether it is with your W or if
she does not recover from the madness and it is somebody else in
your future, you will need it.
Since your W has not reached a point yet where she has filed for
divorce, this is far more in your control than you realize no
