W Left almost 3 months ago

[FellOnBlackDays]

2step,
I wish I had some cool words of wisdom here, but I am battling the same thing. W now all of a sudden wants to be friends. So, I have DB'ed my backside off, but I am still confused as ever. But, regardless of what she is doing, you should keep it up. I am glad you decided to keep your mother out of it. That may not have gone well. My mother has insisted on talking to my W, but I am afraid she will crack. I am afraid that she might get emotional and confess to my W that I am a wreck. That would be about as opposite of DB'ing as I could get. So, I have kept her out of it for now.

Keeping family out of it can be hard. My W and my younger sister were best friends. My W and I started dating when my younger sister was 7. She immediately took to my W because she had two older brothers and no sisters. They used to do everything together. When my sister was in high school, my W would host sleepovers for my sister and her friends and they would hang out. They really were best of friends. But since my W walked out, my sister has turned on her. She has cut off all communication and doesn't respond to her on FB. My W cried about that last week to me. She wanted to know how my sister could do that to her. I responded, "(name), she watched you walk out on her brother. How do you think she was going to respond?" That is now a whole different mess I am dealing with. Morale of the story... keep moms out of the mess.

One other thing. I know that some of the others on here might get on me for saying this, but here it is. If you find yourself thinking that you want the D and you are ready to move on, there is nothing wrong with that. When you were married, you and your W were ONE. She left. Now you are one and you should be the most important one to you with the exception of your D. If you feel like you want to walk away and you are happy with the effort that you have put in and you are know that you will not regret walking away because you did your best, there is nothing wrong with taking the initiative to end it. You have to take care of you and if you want a D and you want to move on, do it! She can always come running back to you later. I know this sounds crazy, but this really is all about you and your D now that your W has walked. You are not the guilty one here. And I am not pushing toward a D. I am just saying that you should not feel guilty about having those thoughts. Sounds like you might be starting to heal a bit faster than some of us on here, including me. You only get one trip on this merry-go-round. Do what is best for you!!!

Keep posting and keep your head up. You are a B.I.T.S. and B.I.T.S. never walk alone...

The only easy day was yesterday!

FOBD