Agreed Mach, but I find myself attempting to prove her wrong about not being responsive. Its one of the things that got me here. I pulled away when confronted or upset. So I sort of feel like I'm doing the same thing now by pulling away and protecting myself.
I'd like to say to her that I'd love to talk about our relationship when we are both willing to work on it. But in the past she's taken this as an ultimatum to dump the douche. I don't want to create ultimatums or put pressure on her. But as you've said, I can't get caught up in her irrationality every night.