Quick update right now. Thank you everyone for your feedback above! I'll respond to your feedback later or tomorrow.
(1) Tomorrow evening is TT night with XH (2) Thursday evening is birthday celebration at X-MIL's with X-MIL, XH,..........and BMF (Ughh!!) Yesterday XH e-mailed me: "I usually see BMF (of late) on Thursdays. I told him it was Mom's birthday …so he didn't want to miss the festivities. He will be there about 6pm also. Make sense?"......Interesting that he warned me. XH must be used to warning people about BMF since BMF and BMF's XW are warring these days.
Thinking about my strategy for the birthday party. Think I'm going to be myself with X-MIL, hugging her and trying to include her in the conversation, taking photos of her with people. Sanderika, your suggestion to compile a CD with photos she might like is a good one. I'm concerned that XH would feel that I was trying to compete with him since he just left a digital photo frame in X-MIL's place with lots of photos for her. I plan to sew a padded seat cushion, padded seat back, and padded arm rests for X-MIL's wheelchair out of faux lambswool with microsuede backing. On a recent visit X-MIL said her arm rests were too hard and hurt. I think this is something that will make her comfortable and shows planning.
I figure that as long as I am genuine and generous to X-MIL, if BMF criticizes me to XH afterward, it will just underscore that BMF is jealous of my involvement in XH's life.
I plan to look fetching in a cobalt blue sweater to bring out the blue in my eyes, black knee length pencil skirt with a slit up the back, textured black stockings, and black leather boots.
