I have done everything wrong....

[islander]

Grocery and Denver, thanks for your input. My response will be brief bc I am on my iPhone and it is difficult to look back at your posts as I write.

Grocery, me and W don't have a large amount of property, but the items we have a larger, so they make an impact when they are no longer there. I traded the living room set and tv for our bed (expensive) and computer , desk, and washer and drier. I needed those things more than a large tv and couches. It is actually pretty even. The stuff I offered to give her were items like the bed in the spare room, my SD bunk bed (she loves it, and my D is with me every other weekend). I was going to set up an extra computer for her, and little stuff like that I am not going to use. I am just trying to be nice a out the sitch, not begging her to stay and helping her set up her place, sort of. I am not selling the farm, just trying to shock her with kindness.


Denver, I have been reading your sitch and also thought it was very similar to mine. I was reading it in the gym parking lot when I broke down. Your relationship with your SS also reminded me of my relationship with my SD. This is so much harder when there are children involved, it multiplies the loss that you feel. I am trying to detach but I just can't seem to grasp the reality of the idea. Every once in a while I feel like I am detached, but it doesn't last for long. I guess it is something I will have to struggle with every day until it becomes easier, if it does.
It is hard to go completely dark in my sitch. I don't make enough to pay the household bills, and my W is going to have to really help me. That is going to require more contact than going dark requires. I will do my best to limit contact and communication. She is coming tomorrow while i am at work to get the rest of her things, so I think tomorrow night is going to be rough.

Today was a rough day and nothing drastic happened. I have not been contacting her since Saturday, but I do respond to her calls and texts. It is a start.