Hi Shaves, glad you found us and I hope you'll post every day until this M is good again.

I know you miss your "real" W and wonder what's going on in her brain. Let me give you this advice. The quicker you will accept the fact that "this" woman is not the girl you M, the sooner you will be stronger.

If you have not read Michele's article on the WAW Syndrome on the DB home page, then do so b/c it explains a lot. Then, go into search and pull up PEA's on the Internet. I think you might be shocked at what you'll learn.

Fear and pride are the two things you will have to fight yourself about. Most LBH's have so much fear of losing the W that they are absolutely paralyzed! Plus, fear is a huge turn-off to the WAW. She's like a dog, she can smell it and she'll attack.

She has decided that she's done, and there isn't much you can do about that. You can't change her. You can't control her. You can't fix her. But you can control who and what "you" are as a man. Making positive changes in yourself will hopefully draw her back to you. But, here's the kicker....those changes must be for you, Shave, not for her. That's just the way it works. That may sound selfish, but it's not. Trust us on that.

My belief about who sleeps in the marital bed is the one who wants to depart the M should be the one to leave the bed (if anyone does). You are doing her no favors by choosing to leave.

You will see your W do all sorts of things that you never dreamed that she'd do. Be prepared! Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

You need a plan of action. Hoping is not a plan. Mae yourself a list of goals.....for you. Some people make a list of goals, but it's all about the WAS. Make these about you. Then break it down and figure out a plan in how to reach those goals. Make smaller ones for every day. Make some obtainable goals that you could reach in a week or two.

You will probably have some very discouraging times ahead. You will have to keep focused on getting a personal life that does not include your W. We will explain all the reasons why, later. You will have to work hard in order to not be focused on her.

There is hope, Shaves.

I'll talk to you later. I know it you have a lot to take in. Oh, BTW, don't try to get her to read or watch any material.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!