I'm here to be, do and have better in my life and for my wife.
We've been together just over 4 years. Met on eHarmony. It was not love at first site. In fact, our physical differences and appearances have always been something of a challenge for us. She is as big if not bigger than me, and I am smaller (in every physical regard) than she is used to. That has wreaked havoc with my ego and my ability to please her.
My insecurities, our ongoing immigration problems (she's 41, american, I'm 47, canadian), and my inability to provide steady income (partly due to being torn between two countries) have her feeling like she now wants a divorce.
We were married in september of 2011, did it at city hall, took 2 months of wishy-washiness before we decided to actually mail in the documents...and then practically as soon as it was done, I left to take advantage of a job opportinty 1000 miles away.
While I was gone she decided she'd had enough, that she has been worried about and dependent on (unreliable) men all her life, and now just wants some "True real me time. Just me and the kids."
To make matters worse, at Christmas I came back to Canada, and now immigration won't let me back into the country until my wife completes the paperwork.
She doesn't want to do that, because she says she has discovered she doesn't want to be married to anybody right now.
There is a lot more to it, of course, as I'm sure there is to your situation as well, but for now I am just determined to use this forum as a place to post my thoughts, and perhaps overcome my insecurities, rather than sending her countless texts and emails.
She and I just got back from spending a week in Cancun together, which came after her decision to get divorced, and she has also said she is open to speaking to a counselor, so I will be hiring one of Michelle's coaches for us as soon as I have the money...
So even though I did not come through and please her the way that I had hoped while we were on vacation, and even though I am still prone to insecurity, I am confident that if I am a good little divorce buster, my wife will indeed fall in love with me again.
That's all for now, as my impulse to text my wife has subsided, and I feel that I am safe again.
Cheers.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
