Newbie post What to do now

[JustStunned]

Thanks Awoken:
I’ve pretty much gone dark as it relates to direct contact with my W. I have not emotionally disconnected to my W, but I am trying with some success to let most of what she says and does to pass without challenge. That is a 180. So she presses harder. I assume she is attempting to provoke a reaction. I am praying for peace and control of myself and my half of this sitch. I never saw it before, but the longer this goes on the more I see how many of my actions in this R were reactions. So much of my life was spent giving to the extended family that I have forgotten what makes me alone happy. Some of that giving was very satisfying and I was happier for it.

I need to put the house in order to begin to find peace. Several of the rooms and most of the basement looks like people with a hoarding disorder live here. I’ve made a few dents here and there and I am beginning to find pride. My D came by last night and told me the house is cleaner than she has seen it in six months. That is not entirely true I know she was trying to lift my spirits. Tonight I plan to begin tackling part of the basement. I’ve spent the last week washing and putting away sheets and blankets that have been piled up in the basement laundry for most of the last six months. When I would be out of the house for an extended period typically a week (7 times last year) my W would begin a project. Several of these need to be finished so I have plenty of indoor work to keep busy with. I think putting the house in order will help me GAL. It certainly cannot hurt to reduce some of the chaos.

Yes, I am detail oriented. This was required in a previous life and needed where I work. This aspect of my personality was alternatively loathed and appreciated in our R

I am reading the books and finding mechanisms for coping here. I need more so I continue to look.