I know this is hard, but you must resist the urge to involve the kids in your R with W.
"Sunday -- D8 asked me, seriously and not in a mean way, if I like being a cheap skate. I told her that I didn't, but we have to live like this now that mommy and daddy aren't together. She said "you're broke, too?" I said yes, I don't know why mommy wants to live like this, but we just have to make the best of it. That morphed into the "Mommy says you're not the right one for her."
Tough one. I asked her how she knows Jesus is real. In a round about way she said "faith." I told her I have faith that I am the right one for STBXW even if STBXW says she doesn't feel that way. I'll always believe that.""
The conversation above involves putting an 8-year-old girl smack dab in the middle of a troubled marital R.
Instead:
D8: Do you like being a cheapskate?
You: I like being careful with my money so that we have it for both fun and important things, and right now I need to be especially careful to keep our important things covered. I bet both of us look forward to when the budget isn't so tight.
or
You: I don't think I am a cheapskate. A cheapskate is sort of someone with plenty of money for something who is so tight with their money that they cause needless misery. Right now we just don't have the money to pay for very many things. We are fine, but we need to be careful to keep the important things covered.
Whatever -- but keep it on you, narrowly, and what it means for her life with you. Don't steer it toward W, and if D8 tries to, draw a clear boundary -- don't go there.
