Well, I don't know how you should respond. I can tell you that going ballistic won't help you or your kids.
Since you have been served and your D will be final next month, this shouldn't be a surprise. That does not mean however that it doesn't totally bite. It hurts and sux, no two ways about it.
Your kids are still pretty young. Do you have a visitation order? I'm don't know of any way to prevent him from bringing friends et al around your kids. I like that you told your D that she could always talk to either of you about what she is feeling.
My D's are older (18 and 15) and tend not to talk about much of substance with H. They live with me 24/7 and while I'm not naive enough to think they share everything with me, we do talk about alot. I really encourage them to talk to each other too. My H has been both kind enough and wise enough to keep almost all of that away from me and D's. I've been lucky in alot of respects.
The best you can do is take care of you and your kids.
