I also feel conflicted by PM as does my wife. There are lots of great insights that Schnarch has.

I believe that if my wife and I had the courage to do some of the things he suggests we would be much closer and happier. It is just that some of them really stretch the limits on what one can handle.

If you and you H do any of the exercises suggested in PM, like hugging till calm, etc. and find them particularly helpful, I (and I am sure others) would like to know the ones you found most helpful or that turned out to be disasters.

Good luck!

>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.