Well, I had a panic attack today. He's coming home and I'm losing it. Something is really not right with me.
He didn't call me first thing this morning. That is completely different than the rest of the weekend. He did eventually call me.
Anyway, he called me late last night to say goodnight. When I asked what he did for the night, he gave me an answer that I knew he was lying. Now, he's been upfront about OW and being with her (although denying an affair). If he was with her last night, why lie about it? But sure as I am breathing right now, I know he was being deceitful about his whereabouts and who he was with last night. And, frankly, I'm just very angry about it.
He's pulling away again. Do I care? Yes, very much. But I have to go on. I promised to get off of this roller coaster and I have to for my own sanity. Tonight, another long workout. That should do the trick. It's pretty much my routine now. I go to work, I go to the gym, I come home and eat and spend some time on the phone with friends and family, then to sleep. When I am home, I'm almost always in my room. Last Friday, he was trying to pull me into the living room. I didn't go, of course. For exactly this reason because I knew I'd be back at the curb soon enough.
