Knowing that there is another man, doesn't change the way you need to approach things. If you change path, then I think you very quickly end up with a divorce. I could have said to my wife that she needs to get out and that the marriage is over.
Instead, I chose to continue to work on improving who I am and show her that we can rebuild what we once had. I cannot stop her from seeig or communicating with him, all that I can do is show her that I can be the man that she always wanted me to be.
Having a discussion around the R accomplishes nothing, as others here have said time and time again, it is only sustained actions that will convince her that a change has been made. Back in December post EA confrontation, my wife made alot of comments about the future that implied that we would be together. Early in January I pressured her for an update on where our R was at. Since then, there has been no comments from her about the future etc.
The R talk unless initiated by the wife, can only send you backwards.
