I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

There is no mandatory counseling. We used to be taking D8 to counseling because of ADHD and D11 went a couple of times as well ... and it really helped D11. But STBXW stopped taking them because of cost and the school district cut its school psychologists because of budget cuts.

Random things -- then another email from STBXW.

I found out STBXW has not met with her attorney since before October. So it's not him, it's her in terms of not advancing the D.

Saturday went well. I felt guilty as h*ll having to get D8 a babysitter so I could work, but they went and saw some puppies and played on an XBox -- she's never played Xbox before so she was happy Saturday night.

D11 went with me to basketball game. She played with her DS for a while, ate some popcorn then she sat at the scorer's table with me for the varsity game. She had fun and I saw a ton of people I know.

Sunday -- D8 asked me, seriously and not in a mean way, if I like being a cheap skate. I told her that I didn't, but we have to live like this now that mommy and daddy aren't together. She said "you're broke, too?" I said yes, I don't know why mommy wants to live like this, but we just have to make the best of it. That morphed into the "Mommy says you're not the right one for her."

Tough one. I asked her how she knows Jesus is real. In a round about way she said "faith." I told her I have faith that I am the right one for STBXW even if STBXW says she doesn't feel that way. I'll always believe that.

Took girls to health club Sunday. D11 wants to see if they have any kids fitness classes. She's talking about not being "the pretty one" at school. Lord, the teen years are going to be trying.

Sunday night it turned out D11 couldn't access an Ebook on my computer. It just doesn't have enough juice. So I sent STBXW a text about the issue. She came over and took D11 back to her house to do it. I said D11 could stay there, but she brought D11 back because she had to go to work early Monday morning. STBXW made a little chit chat about more of her family drama and I listened. Not with a smile, but I listened. They aren't my problem anymore.

Monday night after our company basketball game I get an email. STBXW read about changes to the middle school program. Our school district wants to drop an elective -- because many electives are less than half capacity -- and replace it with a reading class -- because 40 percent of the district's middle schoolers didn't meet state standards.

Perfectly understandable. Our district, like school districts across the country, is drowning in red ink. This saves money and attacks a district wide problem.

STBXW doesn't like it. So she asks, is now the time to switch districts?

My first thought was she wants to switch the girls to the district she graduated from, which is 20 minutes north of here.

That district in the past 20 years has become the ritzy part of the area. The house I rent for $700 here would go for $900 there. So if she made that switch I couldn't move up there and I wouldn't be able to see them every day after school.

Second thought is the girls would go from being middle class even after the divorce to being the poor kids. It's truly the Pretty In Pink high school now where kids are defined by their phones and their cars.

But then I told myself to calm down. She still has to sell the house. We owe $15,000 more than it was worth last year and this year prices likely will drop another 5 to 10 percent. I can't imagine her being able to sell it for what we owe for three to four years and D11 will be in high school by then. So really there's nothing to talk about right now.

So I responded.

"All school districts are making cuts. Besides, how could we switch her? We both live in xxxxx district."

Still, all this morning I'm stressing over it -- thinking of scenarios ... Is she thinking of letting house go to foreclosure? Is she thinking of moving in with mystery guy who is just a friend but seems to keep popping up?

I went to workout at 5 a.m. to shake it out of my system and still it isn't quite working.

Tonight, the church support group is meeting again. I didn't sign up for the session because I had to work most Tuesdays in January, but that's over now. I may show up and pay the $10 to get back in. It's good to be around people going through the same thing.