I thought I was at a place where I could start being more open to H without it bothering me -- inviting him to stay if he came by near dinnertime, sharing D's troubles more freely, etc. -- but now I think I need to step back again.
I so know this one. Esp the part about sharing D's troubles more. I don't know about your H, but mine doesn't really seem to want to hear them. He usually gets this distracted or stressed look when I would bring up stuff about D. So, I stepped way back.
If one of my D's is hurt and goes into the hospital, I will absolutely call him. Otherwise, I don't really see the point.
One of my D's has had suicial ideations and when I shared this with H, he listened. I didn't get any feedback, but I can't say I really expected any and he has never asked me (or her C) about it. To be fair, he does ask her, the problem there is she's not really telling him anything.
My point is, stepping back really helped me and if you think it's what you need to do, by all means take care of yourself.
